Was Lindsay Lohan blitzed when she got arrested? Do you have to ask?
Here is the “poster” for Lifetime’s war crime (that’s not too over-the-top, is it?), Liz & Dick. A suspicious lack of Dick, right? Haha NO NO NO NO. I can’t even describe how offensive this poster is. Mostly because this film is going to be such a trainwreck, I can barely even imagine. Look at those fake-looking jewels. Look at that awful wig. Look at all of the Photoshop on her arms and face. Look at how they made her eyes violet in post-production. God, this is going to be such a mess. It doesn’t premiere until November. Just in time for a Golden Globe nomination! Hahahahaha.
Anyway, would you like to discuss all of the latest developments in Lindsay’s millionth arrest? She was arrested yesterday morning, after allegedly (!) kneecapping an innocent pedestrian with her cracked-out Porsche in NYC. You see, Lindsay was due at a nightclub around 1 a.m., and she’s super-important, so she was flashing her lights at people trying to get them to MOVE out her way, lest she “accidentally” plow into them, I guess. That’s what crackheads call “fair warning”. Here’s what happened since then:
*In TMZ’s first report of the Cracken’s arrest, they stressed the idea that “alcohol was not involved.” But the alleged victim, Manhattan chef Jose Rodriguez, claims that LL was “slurring her words” and “smelled like alcohol real bad” when she hit him.
*Rodriguez also says about the incident, “[I] saw this car come real quick and hit me. I was in so much pain … I fell to the side.” He was treated for torn tendons, and he claims he was given morphine to deal with the pain.
*The NYPD detectives apparently do not believe that alcohol was an issue, although the Police Commissioner admitted that LL did not take a breathalyzer.
*Before Lindsay was cracking knees on the mean streets, she was at a Slash concert, where some random girl who was hanging out with LL claims that the Cracken was NOT drinking. Allegedly, Slash doesn’t allow booze backstage at his concerts because he’s sober. The car crash took place around 40 minutes after the show ended. Enough time to get hammered, honestly.
*Blah, some Real Housewives crap I don’t care about that is somewhat tangential to the Cracken story. Blah.
*STEVE HONIG SPEAKS!!!!!!!!! Dina-In-A-Mustache Honig says: “While some of the facts are still being gathered, it appears that this is much ado about nothing. We are confident this matter will be cleared up in the coming weeks and the claims being made against Lindsay will be proven untrue.” Thank you for weighing in, Steve!
Sooooo… of course nothing is going to happen. That’s obvious. She’ll get away with drinking and driving, she’ll get away with clipping that dude and whoever else she wants to run over. She’ll end up getting away with the “leaving the scene of a crime” charge too, because she’s The Crack Monster and why not? But it will be interesting to see how little the California justice system cares – because this crackhead is still on f—king probation! She’s not supposed to “screw up” at all, ever. But just wait… they still won’t do anything to her.
Photos courtesy of Lifetime, WENN.
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